greeting card

When I was still in the "unknown" phase, having not yet seen him, my mind was whirling with questions. As in, all the time. Work was practically impossible. Mundane everyday tasks were impossible. I couldn't even go to the grocery store. I'd find myself wandering aimlessly down aisle after aisle, with no idea whatsoever I'd come in for, or if I'd had anything in particular that I needed.

The night before I saw him, I'd gone to get a pie crust (yes, I do know how to make my own, but suddenly, the thought of having to roll it out just seemed overwhelming to me), and, after a few minutes, having found the required item, I found myself daydreaming on the greeting card aisle. Now, you have to understand, I don't do cards. I hate the sing-song variety. I hate the ones that are trying to be all wise and comforting. I never seem to find a card that says what I really want to say. But I'm standing there, staring at them, as though I'm going to find something worthwhile. But I'm not really looking at them. I'm trying to slow my mind down, make sense of things. Get my feet back under me, or on the ground, or something. And an idea begins to form.

And I realize, that what I wish I could find, there on the greeting card aisle, is a card that simply says:

(outside)

I have so many questions, so many things I want to ask.

But the only thing that really matters, the one question I really want an answer to:

(inside)

when?

I have no idea what kind of artwork I would want with that. Nothing too realistic, I think. Something abstract. Maybe just a solid color on the front, even.

I realize that this one, small question could have so many connotations. So many things I could be asking, so many things I could mean. And I could, at any given time, mean any one of them.

When will you be mine? (sounds a tad possessive...)
When will our life together start?
When did your life with her end?
When can I see you again?
When did you realize that you loved me?

And I still find myself wanting to ask him, every time we text, talk or email (because I still haven't seen him, since that weekend):

When?