Tuesday, April 30, 2013

not me

HE is engaged.
Announced it on facebook. A week ago. No personal communication to me, from him. Which, I suppose, I don't really expect at this point.
He met her two months ago.
She looks like his mother, in my opinion. (I did not tell him this.)
And that's fine. Really.
I want him to be happy.
I do.
It just still bothers me that when he thought of me, it was the me from high school, and not the me from ten years ago. Not the adult me.
Because, for me? The reason I was in this, now? Was because of who he was when my life was falling apart, when my husband was leaving me.
Sure, high school is part of the story. But only as a beginning. That is not the person I couldn't get over. That is not the person I still love.

There is no point in trying to tell him this. I would only look desperate, jealous.
But it seethes; simmers under my skin.

I had hoped he would remember.
I was sure, if he did, he would love me again.

It hurts, knowing that I mean so very little to him.
So little, he didn't feel it was worth finding out if there was anything more; could be anything more.
He didn't want that.
He wanted someone else.
Not me.

and that leaves me...what? unloved? unwanted? forgotten?

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Keep it in the Family

According to a recent text message:
 
My daughter-in-laws' brother-in-laws' brother finds me attractive.
 
Sounds reasonable to me.