I sound like a loser

David wants to know how long I've been "out there" and why I'm on LDS Singles.
I've been dreading the question, because my answer makes me look pathetic. I'm trying to think of a way to phrase it that doesn't make me sound like a loser.
You guys know me, you know I'm not that. But it's a fair question. I have been single again almost 8 years (I wouldn't remember how long, except it was right after 9-11) and it's only in the last couple of months that I've really tried to put myself out there.
I know why he's asking. He wanted to be sure I knew he was dating others, so much so that he told me twice. I was feeling a little low when I answered the second email (which was also a reply to me after I told him why I wouldn't give him my phone number just yet), and while I tried to come off sounding confident, I don't think it worked. I don't mind he's dating others - in fact, I really think that's a good thing. I'm not up for a boyfriend just yet, and I don't want to be confined to dating just one person, thank you very much. But I don't have much choice. I won't ask a guy out (like I've told my kids, if he can't even muster up the courage to do that, he will never last in my world), so all I can do is turn down the ones that I'd rather not get to know (and bravely send flirts or messages, hoping they might respond - online equivalent of introducing myself). I have turned down dates recently, which at least means I've been asked, but I can't say as I'm dating anyone else.
All of which makes sense to me, but still looks pathetic. Possibly leading to this line of thinking on his part: If nobody else is asking me out, maybe there's a good reason for that, so maybe he's wrong in thinking he wants to get to know me. (My confident self says: maybe, but after he meets you, he won't think that. To which my lower self says: that's a nice thought, but it doesn't mean much if he cancels)
It's that whole keeping up with the Jones thing, but for dating. I'm desirable to more guys if they think a lot of guys find me desirable.
So, even though it's the truth, admitting to him that I've been online since mid-January and he's the first to actually ask me out (though not the first flirt or first sign of interest) does not appeal to me. Because nobody wants to be that first post-relationship date, even if it is 8 years later.
(point of fact: I have been out with 2 other guys since the divorce. one of them over a year ago, the other over a year before that. so technically he's not the first, but he might as well be)
And if I think I sound like a loser, what's he going to think? And if he's not put off by the truth, does that mean he preys on pathetic girls, or that he's willing to meet me himself and see if maybe all the guys I've met so far are just idiots? Or will he simply keep the date because he feels that's the honorable thing, while wondering if I'm one of those really picky girls (which I sometimes think I am).
Bottom line: I truly believe you have to put it all out there, pretty or not, and let them decide. You can't decide for them, and you have to do your best to make sure they can make an informed decision. You don't want a boyfriend who feels like you tricked him into liking you.