they're all bad

So BG12, the one who shares too much, who’s wife left him for a woman? He’s still married.

Whatever. His response to my invite to the dance Saturday: “I’ve got to be honest with you” and then he launches into why he’s not divorced yet.
I was going to be rude about it, but I just told him that yes, all divorces must be final before you can attend LDS singles events, and I commiserated with him about that limbo stage when you know you’re divorcing, and you’ve done everything you can, but you have to wait for the other person to get their stuff done. So I was nice. But this just reinforces my opinion of all the single guys my age. And really, until he’s gone through some therapy, he’s not ready to date. He thinks he is, but all it is, is lonely. Not the same at all.

he doesn't know it yet, but he just lost any chance he had to date me. you're either married or you're not, there is no in between. I get it, I know how he feels, I hated limbo, too. I know he thinks there is no way he'll be patching up the marriage (she did join the other team, after all), and I'm sure that's part of his justification for signing up on a singles site when he's NOT SINGLE. sorry, doesn't fly with me. I had a chance to date 2 guys I really really liked right after my 1st hubby left. I mean, I wanted to date these guys. one of them, I already had this huge crush on him (hey, married isn't dead, you still notice, you just don't pursue), and he was so seriously adorable. he asked me to lunch right when I told him I was separated. and even he realized that was probably not right. looked awkward and said, oh, wait, that's probably not kosher. not until you're divorced. as much as I wanted to date this guy, I couldn't do that. Married is married. I knew it was just a matter of time, there was no question of taking back the abandon-er, but I wasn't single. therefore, no dating.
sadly, by the time the divorce was final, I'd lost touch with both of these guys. I still think I was right not to date until I was single. I paid the price, sure, but I didn't loose my self respect.