in other news

You know that thing I've been waiting for?
That certain someone (or possible someone) that seems to have kept me from dating, or meeting new people?

Remember how crazy/stupid that sounded?
(Unless you saw that as romantic, which I totally understand.)

Remember how many times I was just so "over" that, and ready to move on?

Remember how I got all mad a couple weeks ago, and finally was, really and truly, OVER IT?

Turns out, while I still feel it's true that I am no longer "waiting", that I'm finally free, emotionally, to allow others into my life (and heart), it seems that the wait is over.

This may not turn out like I wanted.
This may not work out at all, actually.
But at least, it's started.

And you know what? Whatever happens, I'm good with that.

(also, no matter how many times I try to tell myself I'm not, I am so in love with him. there, I said it.)

confused

he should not have kissed me,
he should not have kissed me,
he should not have kissed me...

and I definitely should not have kissed him back.

probably.

Fabulous Weekend

It really was. Fabulous, I mean.

I had a brief rendezvous with an old friend. Still dreaming about that.

And then I had my blind date, and he was very nice. Good conversation, charming, funny.

And he wore the same cologne.

I just about fell over.

(Somebody up there must think that's funny.)

do you believe?

fairy tale romance

love at first sight, a soul mate

a last chance at love

what to wear on a blind date

Well, okay, more like, what NOT to wear.

One should try very very very hard not to give oneself a black eye while cleaning house two days before a blind date. It could give the wrong impression.

blind date

my heart skips a beat

each time I hear the phone ring

remember to breathe

How to ask an independent female for a date:

Don't talk around the subject.
Don't ask leading questions.
Don't tap-dance around the issue.

No "maybe"s, or "if you don't mind"s.

Man up, and ask me out already. It's that simple.

(Because, quite frankly, if you can't muster up the courage to ask me a direct question, you'll never survive the relationship.)

thinking back

looking at the last few posts, I notice that, even though they were far apart in time, they sorta carried the same theme.

so I sound a bit like a broken record.

that was totally unintentional.

I appologize.

is it over yet?

A certain someone decided to wish me a happy birthday via a private message on facebook. He won't openly friend me, so I'm pretty sure he's not "available", so it's not okay with me that he's looking me up. When I first saw the message, I almost didn't answer. But I was having a good day (43 rocks, ya'll!), and I finally figured I could just answer with a generic "always good to hear from an old friend", which I did.

whatever.

Next thing I know, he wants to know what I've been up to for the last 8 years, and he's telling me how he got his bachelors in accounting a few years back, and now works at a local college. He even interviewed at my office back when he'd first finished school, though I knew nothing about it at the time.

Anyway, the upshot of the whole thing, for me, was that I sat there thinking about it, and thinking about how he KNOWS I can't just be his "friend" (my feelings run way too deep for that), and how unfair it is for him to decide to "re-open communications", and what was I going to do about it? And then I realized, there's got to be someone out there that I could feel that strongly for, who is not otherwise involved, I just have to find him, and I'm just so DONE with that particular relationship!

Which is something I never thought I'd even come close to. I just couldn't get past it before. (Except, with Husband#2, because that was totally unconditional on my part, but he left, and there you are.) I couldn't ever say to myself that I'd had enough of waiting (for what, I can't say), and besides, I deserve a guy who is faithful by nature, and not some guy who thinks it's okay to open a dialog with an old girlfriend when he's still married.

I am so ready to meet someone new. Bring it on.