How to ask an independent female for a date:

Don't talk around the subject.
Don't ask leading questions.
Don't tap-dance around the issue.

No "maybe"s, or "if you don't mind"s.

Man up, and ask me out already. It's that simple.

(Because, quite frankly, if you can't muster up the courage to ask me a direct question, you'll never survive the relationship.)

thinking back

looking at the last few posts, I notice that, even though they were far apart in time, they sorta carried the same theme.

so I sound a bit like a broken record.

that was totally unintentional.

I appologize.

is it over yet?

A certain someone decided to wish me a happy birthday via a private message on facebook. He won't openly friend me, so I'm pretty sure he's not "available", so it's not okay with me that he's looking me up. When I first saw the message, I almost didn't answer. But I was having a good day (43 rocks, ya'll!), and I finally figured I could just answer with a generic "always good to hear from an old friend", which I did.

whatever.

Next thing I know, he wants to know what I've been up to for the last 8 years, and he's telling me how he got his bachelors in accounting a few years back, and now works at a local college. He even interviewed at my office back when he'd first finished school, though I knew nothing about it at the time.

Anyway, the upshot of the whole thing, for me, was that I sat there thinking about it, and thinking about how he KNOWS I can't just be his "friend" (my feelings run way too deep for that), and how unfair it is for him to decide to "re-open communications", and what was I going to do about it? And then I realized, there's got to be someone out there that I could feel that strongly for, who is not otherwise involved, I just have to find him, and I'm just so DONE with that particular relationship!

Which is something I never thought I'd even come close to. I just couldn't get past it before. (Except, with Husband#2, because that was totally unconditional on my part, but he left, and there you are.) I couldn't ever say to myself that I'd had enough of waiting (for what, I can't say), and besides, I deserve a guy who is faithful by nature, and not some guy who thinks it's okay to open a dialog with an old girlfriend when he's still married.

I am so ready to meet someone new. Bring it on.

awkward

While sitting at Fab Fibers last week, one of the gals mentions that one of her co-workers is about my age, and single, and they were talking, and...

Well, you know how that conversation goes.

I was suddenly very interested in my knitting.

As it turns out, this gal, who is in her mid-20's, decided that this fellow, who is 40, is too immature for me. So she decided not to mention that she had a friend, etc.

That happens to me a lot.

"Sure, I know somebody, about your age, but he's: not good enough/too immature/not your type."

At some point, could I please get to decide for myself?

power of prayer

Recently, I've been praying that I might meet someone. Preferably, the "right" someone. But, whatever the Lord thinks I'm up for would be fine.

This is new for me. Acquiring a habit for regular morning prayer took me years, yes, and it's finally something I do every day. But that's not what I mean. Asking my Heavenly Father to help me find someone is just so far from...anything I ever did before. I had my reasons. And I also figured it would happen if it was supposed to, anyway, even if I wasn't asking for it.

I haven't met anyone yet.

But...

something else has changed. I noticed after the first week (of asking) that I felt like wearing dresses or skirts every day. And putting on make-up. Every day. Most days, I even try to do something with my hair so it's not just hanging there, eliciting the comment "gosh, your hair is so long..." (which I don't exactly find a compliment in, it being a clear statement of fact, and not exactly something I have any control over. It's not like I changed my diet or found some magical way to get it to grow. It just grows. And I have trouble finding someone that can cut my hair well, following the curls, so, it gets long).

I don't know if anything else will come of this. I got to where I felt a little silly asking every day if He could help me meet that certain someone, and I focused myself a little more on the family. But I still think about it, and still ask at least once a week.

Thing is, I guess this means I'm done with that other. That one that I sort of held onto, thinking that in some way I can't figure, it would all work out, eventually.
You never stop loving, if you truly loved. That won't change, and I'm fine with it.

I guess I'm just...ready for something else.

not exactly an update

If you're looking for something more on my attempts at a dating life, I've sort of abandoned this blog. But you can go here for a related little something.

nervous message

I got a message (which I couldn't read, because I'm no longer a paying member) from a guy whose profile reads, in part,
"I think that everytime we ride in an elevator we should kiss until the doors open and we should look like nothing happened...I think it would be incredible to meet for lunch and pretend we didn’t know each other...I want to play games with you...I want someone to want to touch my arm as I drive, that when I look over they smile all the way down to their shoulders. I want to lay in bed and have you reach to me and play with my hair while we talk." (the misspelled, and other such mistakes, are his, left as they were)
Anyone besides me a little nervous about this?